For the Love of Jade
How do you say goodbye to your best friend? The one with the four floppy paws, soft brown eyes, and the big wet nose. The one who celebrated your joyful moments and nursed you through the wretched ones. The friend who never left your side through injury or illness. And when you were sad, she kissed away your tears and offered up a smile in return. She lived for you; you were her entire world. She never asked for anything in return, all she wanted was your love. So, how does one find the strength to say goodbye to that kind of love and devotion?
Last week my friend Melissa had to do exactly that; she had to say goodbye to Jade, her furry BFF. Jade, a pure white standard Poodle, embodied every outstanding quality the breed has to offer: beauty, intelligence, athleticism, loyalty, and dignity. She could also be a giant goofball and a warm-hearted clown who, like any dog, enjoyed a good romp through the mud and loved to burrow into the brush in hot pursuit of marauding squirrels and gophers. Jade was simply a great dog, a loyal companion and one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever met.
I’ve known Jade and Melissa for over twelve years. Melissa and I both had full lives when we met. Between the two of us, we had five kids, two dogs and a couple of workaholic husbands we rarely saw. But somehow we both found space in our hearts and homes for two new puppies; a standard Poodle named Jade and a Keeshond named Inca.
Two sagacious mothers with a wealth of parenting experience between us, we dedicated ourselves to the raising of Jade and Inca. We signed them up for puppy socialization meetings, dog training, agility classes and arranged bi-weekly play dates for them at the local dog park.
Those memories are among my favorites, watching our pups circle the giant park over and over, running at top speed, like a couple of Kentucky Derby thoroughbreds. Exhausted, they would finally stagger back to us for a well-earned treat and collapse, face first, into the nearest water dish.
Born only a few hours apart, Jade and Inca shared a July birthday. And being the good mothers we were, we pulled out all the stops for their first birthday celebration. We threw a dog party and showered the pups with presents, party hats, and doggy cakes. Yes, we’re that kind of crazy.
Seven years ago Melissa and Jade moved from our neighborhood, and the play dates began to fall off the calendar. The dogs had grown up, their personalities matured and the dynamic between them had changed. But as our dogs’ friendship waned, the friendship between Melissa and I continued to blossom.
Over the past twelve years, we’ve seen each other through everything. Throughout the good times and the bad, one constant has remained; our rock solid, unshakable friendship. I consider Melissa more than a friend; she is my sister.
When Melissa called to give me the news that her sweet Jadey had passed away, my heart broke for her. Jade had been under-the-weather and as her symptoms worsened Melissa had rushed her to the emergency veterinarian. The news was bad; Jade was suffering, her body was shutting down, and there was nothing they could do. In the end, Melissa made the difficult decision to say goodbye to her best friend. As hard as it was, she knew it was the only compassionate choice for Jade.
Melissa held Jade, comforting her best friend, until the very end. It was peaceful, loving and physically painless for Jade. Not so much for Melissa. For Melissa it was too soon, too sudden and utterly heartbreaking.
You see, every dog has their own “person.” They may love and spend time with each family member, but there’s only one special person they claim as their own. For Jade, Melissa was that person.
What do you do when your best friend loses her best friend? You cry together, you share memories and a lot of tissues, you comfort one-another, and try to move forward.
There’s no avoiding the pain that comes with loss; there’s no free pass. You simply have to barrel straight through it, embracing the sharp emotional sting and gut-wrenching sorrow of grief.
Eventually, your heart will heal, leaving a small paw-shaped scar behind. A tender reminder that once upon a time your life was graced by the devotion and unconditional love of a dog. That love will remain imprinted on your heart forever; it becomes a piece of your story, part of the fabric of your life. And if you’re lucky enough to have a bright light like Jade come into your world, that fabric will be rich, luminous and beautiful.
For Melissa and Jade.
